cousin trap

i was recently in alamanda/putrajaya eating lunch at a store called Lemongrass.
i was waiting for my mum(who was working in a clinic just outside the shopping complex)
i was looking quite miserable on acount of my allergies acting up.my eyes were red and puffy,i had a tissue on my slightly red nose and i was having this head splitting headace (or however you spell it) and my mum had lots of patients to see... i had been waiting for her for almost half an hour when i looked up and saw my cousin...another cousin beside her and another cousin beside her and another cousin on CRUTCHES tagging behind them.

-to explain the guy/cousin on crutches, he had a motorbike accident, he's not a mat remp-it or anything... he is anything but,that's why he crashed into that tree. ok, this was what hapend. this guy -Nader- was playing football in the field with his bonehead friends (i only met one of omar's-cousin of close relation with nader and me ...friend,thats singular and he's single and my age AND taller than me,the friend not omar, anyway the point is that i don't know any of nader's friends but if they're anything like him i'm sure they're boneheads) and one of them brought a motorbike...so naturaly, they each took turns for a ride around the field...somehow it then got to the road (i'm sure it was a dare but that was how Nader described it to his da so i'm pretty sure he lied) i guess since the idiot dosn't know how to steer so he endded up driving on the opposite side of the road and then this car came and the ''saukerl'' drove offt he road and into the tree... so the tree thought him a lesson...not the car. he broke a leg and almost lost his teeth...and he's form four as of this year but at the time of the encounter it was still december 2008 so....

Anyway, omm (ommaira,my cuzzin and also form four this year and just had her P.M.R like Nader and Omar, the diffrencence is that she got straight A's and they didn't.... not that it's important but it proves that the prettiest face are the most 'bengong'...translation 'dumb'... which is Omar...i know it's bogus but i do agree Omar is cute...but he got 3 A' and Nader got 5...and he's pimply...but not that bad looking. when i told this to my granda when he called me to tel me their marks-the part about the cuttest face being the most bengong not about the looks of Nader and whatever- he laughed...so did my mum) also noticed me and came over with the other two cousins who look vaguely familiar but i can't recall their names (dosn't help that i suck with names) and said hi! we talked bout some stuff that i think would be pointless to write down here cuz its tottaly irrelevant and they wen't off... notice i didn't say Nader tagged along...either cuz he can't go around the chairs in the shop on acount of his crutches or maybe the fact that ever since puberty we (meaning me,nader,omar,amir and the rest of the guys who has reached puberty) havn't been talking to each other... i'm still very upset about this cuz when we were younger we were closer than MJ and his bleached white skin... we even met up in london together and squabled on a small baby size keyboard and in 2003 we had a flour fight and all went to the family day together and one of them apparently had a crush on me,i'm not gonna say more but i dont think he still has a crush on me but i think that he might be ambarased about it enough not to talk or act like either of us exist...maybe thats the reason all of us ain't talking...my mum said it's cuz they can't control their hormones and i think that that's bull...i mean, we're cousins and sure, acording to religion we can be married but still! we're cousins! and i just don't get them.

ANYWAY, all he did was give me a nod and smile so at least he noticed me and not acting as if i'm not there... so i waited for about 15 minutes and my mum called and told me to abandon our lunch and head out to MPH with strict orders not to go anywhere else. so i headed out and on my way i glimpsed Nader and started swearing in my head... i pretended like i didn't see him for reasons i myself don't know (maybe i wan't him to feel how it feels like to be egnored) and i also realised that i was walking right behind the three girl cousins and i said hi and moved past them into MPH and headed straight into the teen/adult section and i glanced at a book behind me and excidently saw omm's older brother from the corner of my eye with a look of regconization on his face...i pretended not to see him either since he to don't talk to me but we wern't that close when young so it don't really matter as much. a sec later i glimpsed him again from the side of my sight...he didn't aproach to say hi till a couple of minutes later... he said hey! what are you doing here and other mindless chat...
which i also don't remember because of the fact that at that moment i was thinking ''shit! i've walked into a volentarily mute family trap!'' ... it's not that i hate them or anything but its the fact that i've inherited my mum's likeness for privacy as in 'i don't like family other of my tight family circle to know what i do in real life...especialy if the male of this family has egnored me and enoyed me. i told capoeira bout this after the abrupt conversation with shanaz (omm's cousin) he told me to ditch them...but by the time the text came or by the time i read it i had already figured that out...

okay, i think i've writen enough...my arm's hurting....so buh bye till tomorow (if i manage to get internet excess... my mum has already paid the phone bill but the lembab telekom flers still hasn't reconected the line so i'm still depending on my mum's office computer till further notice)

writing book dilema

one of the reasons i'm not giving details on my holiday is because of the fact that i only wrote down my ideas and the basic skeleton story in my writing book and i had so many ideas that i finished the whole book....and all the stories i wrote in the period of my holiday just happens to be skeleton stories. so right now i'm looking for the perfect writing book and decided to get the same type of notebook like i had before only in a different design but the problem is....i cant find it anywhere!
and since i'm stubborn i have to find that particular book cuz its the only thing that is both practical and nice to look at.... i'm not materialistic but i would like to look at a notebook and actually FEEL like writing in it...that on of the weird things about me. there are plenty of weird things about me but for the purpose of this article i'll just keep it at that.
i'm flippin' out!!!!!!! my holiday must be published!

p.s did i mention i can be obsessive at times to?

holiday,holiday .....or hellday?

i got back from my holiday last sunday and couldn't find a computer with internet connection, since mine is fried...again and that i'll have to wait for my mum's friend to clear of the virus in my laptop and he's a doctor and so very busy... i think he's with the UN or something like that... he gets to travel often. Anyway, here's an outline of my 1 week holiday.

1st day

push of at eight in the morning to go to ipoh/perak ...not ipoh taiping..yet.
saw some sites
ate at ipoh club
set of to pinang
stayed the night with my mum's friend

2nd day
woke up early in the morning along with my mum's friend and her husband to go trekking
8.30am we started our trek and took 2 hours to reach our destination
once we got there me and my mum unpacked our tents (we were camping over at the beach)
we chilled out and met the most friendly flee ridden dog and tried to play fetch...sadly the dos was a bum
went over to the intersection where the fresh water stream met the ocean via beach.
hung out there and i tried to sneak a climb on the rocks nearby... my mum caught me a and as always panicked.
aunt and uncle left via boat

3rd day
got back to pinang via boat
checked into pinang club and took a bath to look human...or vaguely so
relaxed the whole day

4th day
took a 'becha' to fort cornwalis and took the same 'becha' (rickshaw...or resembling one) to the ferry station
went to the bird park there and got depressed ( the reason i promise will be reveled in later posts since i dont have the flash drive containing the picture of that sickening escapade)
got the ferry back home and took a taxi to the club
that nite we went to dinner with aunt and uncle along with aunt's mother (who has a tattoo on her right inner upper arm) and her nephews who were petrified i was a girl...but not as bad as a malay boy...they pretend i dont exist my mum says its hormones but i think its cuz they wanna seem macho.... it just seem to me that THEY'RE stupid... anyway, i had constipation which cut the dinner short.... by 30 minutes. went to penang swimming club to hurl and unblock the other end.
spent most of the nite in a karaoke booth at the swimming club.
went back to pinang club and slept like a log.

5th day

went back to ipoh...taiping at bukit larut and spent hari raya haji there with my grandma and pa as well as youngest aunt (they traveled from kajang and they dont live in taiping)
walked to the top of the hill with aunt and mum
hung out and slept

6th day
went back home to shah alam/ kajang

7th day
shoot of to melaka and that nite we went to jonker street in jonker walk (note jonker street ain't there if it ain't saturday nite)

8th day
went back home




there is more to the story..not to mention pictures and i left out the waterfall part at the very begining ...but i wanted to tell the whole story plus pictures....so watch out!

quotes and stuff

-is there ever right or wrong in a war?
the light sees the dark
yet the dark sees darkness in the light
some say war is the testing of might
they say the stronger wins
in a way that is true
in others its just the arogance of man
war is more of a battle of faith then of strength
for sometimes the week of heart and faith
and keen on darkness and deceit wins the battle of strength
yet those who are strong in faith for their cause
for those who were weak of heart
join the opposition


-some people fear death because of the ending of life,
yet some think life is not worth living because of death,
they are both wrong,
life is only meaningfull because of death
if life was endless there will be an end,
if life dies the world will still perish

-perfection is sought apon by the imperfect
yet the perfect do the same

-in a city, the buildings are big and impersonal
in a village, the buildings are small adn to personal

pick up lines for the dumb and the sick

these are toltaly stupid pick up lines that me and my friends have come up with that is both dissgusting and stupid..but hey! us girls do go crazy once in a while (except for me,i'm always crazy)

gal to guy

1. i love that shirt, where did you get it?

note: this line is ok...but not to be used when guy is in school uniform... you'll look dumb... yet some guys like that...

2.oh my god! you have such big muscles!

note: ewwwww..... cheap,whoreish and totaly ambarrasing!

3.hey are you single?... no? did i mention your gilfriend is a slut and she slept with my boyfriend/ yeah, she thinks we should trade boyfriends...so my name is...

note: this line will asure you a slap...or a punch...or a kick...or a. never mind.

4.no wonder you're so buff -this is said while starring at his lunch tray-

note:ain't that bad.... but darling he's buff cus he works out...its when you get fat that you eat a lot...go figure


guy-gal

1.you are so beautiful

note: this is both cheesy and it means crap when the guy is a playboy.

2.i'm sorry but i've got to go, this much treasure is sinful

note: is that an insult or a praise?

3. he's such a jerk for dumping you..

note:this is so sweet...but it means shit if he's oogling at your boobs or trying to feel up your ass... and if i were you i'll give him a kick in the groin and say "sorry its to small for my taste"
disgusting comment but worth a try.

4.let me show you how to 'swing' -while playing golf-

note:if you haven't caught on. he's saying that you're crap 'golf' and wants to show you how he 'swings' which is disgusting unless you're not muslim and he's your boyfriend.


okay thats it..i told you it's disgusting...

the loner,a fictional story based on my elders

there was once 3 sisterswho lived together yet apart. these girls prove that even if you all have spots it dosent mean you're alike. the eldest was...is a loner.she's so caught up in her own buisness that the hardly cared for mindless gossip except when it concerned her. she isn't selfish yet she loves being right.

the middle sister was an absolute CONTROL FREAK. she wants all to be to her liking and if it ain't she makes them do what she wants...or tries to.suprisingly she's married as her older sis is. her husband loves her to pieces and i think that she is very lucky...he cooks to!

anyway, the youngest sister is truly an oddity.she isn't married. she still lives with her parents and most of the time they are fighting...especialy her and her mother. she totally lacks the confidence that her sisters have. i dont blame her, at school she was always compared to her sisters and she never came close. you see she was stuborn as hell and the more you press her the more she resisted. so the more the teachers pushed,the more she resisted. until now, she still hasen't gained the confidence that she so lacked. no wonder, she still lives with her mother...i'm not saying thats a bad thing, but living with her mom she is still unable to break out of her high school shell... when asked,she says that she is looking for an apartment..i say hury the hell up!

her mother has given up on her but she still stabs poison darts without meaning to. i don't blame the mother for wanting the best fr her child, but she has to learn to love the way her child the way she is and stop trying to change her.in a way both the mom and the child are a fault in this...and they never talked about it to each other... thats a major problem.

the youngest cared to much about what people thought of her, that is what's preventing her from being her own person. people are all diffrent and have diffrent oppinions...if you try to hard to please all of them sooner than later you'll die... and maybe when you're on the journey up there you might finaly realise that the only oppinions that mattered are your own.

i grew up with the fear of becoming like this sister, but i realised that she is perfect the way she is and that i'll never be like her because know her mistakes that she told me herself and i realised that she didn't want me to be like her either. i know i wont but i will always have a part of her in me because the fear i felt was there because i recognised her in me... i am me yet i have a part of her in me to...maybe that's the reason i'm me and not her...

yeah yeah i know that's confusing.that is why god invented our brains...so that we use them... suprise! suprise!

'emo's and hoppers

ok... i am going on holiday tomorow and i'm really exited....obviously. i'm going trekking,camping and also i'm goin to go to a famous ghost house... thats the part i dont get. if a haunted house is full of people or known by many people...wont the ghosts run away? i mean, imagine living in a house that is walked freely by a lot of people that you dont even know... i'll run away. who wants a bunch of strangers hang around while you take a bath? i don't
so i'm not really betting on seeing a ghost there.but the rented bunglo i'm gonna be sleeping in for 'hari raya haji' is more promising. but i wonder when i do finaly find a ghost...umm i mean a REAL ghost,not the ones you see on the road everyday, that is a diffrent species altogether. i mean a ghost GHOST i'll run or stay and chat.... you can learn a lot from an elderly person...imagine a elder GHOST. they can be dead for a thousand years...not quite millions...have you ever heard of a caveman ghost?
hehe, what a weird idea. maybe i'll find out how they discovered fire!
so anyway, the reason i wanted to write this in the first place is to tell you of this old and stupid movies i saw this week. the title is "clueless" and alicia silverstone acted as the main character.
in this stupid movie, she fell in love with a gorgeous gay guy. she was divastated when her besfriend's boyfriend pointed it out to her...i dont really blame her... looking at the typical guy these days...alicia said that she cant understand why we are expected to swoon over these guys (we meaning girls) i cant help but agree. ok here's the lowdown, these are the guys who wear baggy jeans low that we are treated to a view of their boxer clad behinds,caps that are facing backwards (since they come from the south....hello! you come from the east....i'm talkin' bout' asian guys here),eating chewing gum that sticks to their lips and make them drool. yeah!!! huh.....
i ain't gonna swoon to that. to tell you the truth all the guys want is to smack that. thinking that girls want egoistic guys...ooopppssss, think again. most of us like sensitive guys....eeerrrr not to sensitive. the guys are the ones who make the girls cry, not the other way around.
there are also the wannabe 'emo' group of malay guys... these are the one who pretend to be a punk. in other words, they wear lots of black eyeliner,listen to rock,wear black... hello, there is more to being an 'emo' than just the physical stuff. they listen to rock cuz they relate to the lyrics.... whereas,the wannabe malay guys listen to rock cuz they think its cool.
ok,enough from the obvious... i gotta go. again.bye.

the waiting room

The waiting room


There is a strange thing about the waiting room in a hospital. First of all it has no geographical bearing… it just is. It can be anywhere in a hospital. Just as long as there are people waiting in it for the fate of their loved ones.

The second thing is that if you observe the surroundings of the room, wherever it may be, you might learn something new… if you haven’t already.

The waiting room is always full…or to the very least, occupied by people in vain for their loved ones to come out of an operation or worrisome mothers waiting for the verdict of her child’s running nose, this room is always the best or worst place to be, depending on the situation…

This room, can be the most dreaded destination for a doctor bearing the heavy burden of carrying bad news, yet at the same time, it could be the best place for the doctors to be when having tasted the sweet and addictive taste of victory. The taste that leaves the doctor wanting more of it…more victory.

The room itself is unremarkable. Indeed it could be a hallway. Yet what attracts me to this room is the people. And more so, the people and their love for other people who (unlike the waiters) are the ones who were unlucky enough to be carried far behind the swinging doors. The worry, the guilt, the love. This is where everyone put aside their differences and hope together that the one behind the swinging door will survive so that their guilt for having avoided the encounter with the door themselves would be relieved. So that they wont have to spend the remaining of their lives looking back at what they should have done or said to that person or even what they SHOULDN’T have done. That is what haunts the quiet majority of them…the guilt.
The survival.

I have only been to the waiting room once. I’m glad to say that the operation went well. And I didn’t have a close personal relationship with the man who undergo the operation. Nor with his daughter or wife…
But the daughter is my cousin. So I had to be there. And I chose to.
But not for the patient’s sake but for my own, more complicated sake.
I was disappointed. The person I DID want to see wasn’t there… but I DID get a starbucks’ sticker. That did make it lighter…

All in all. My story isn’t one that relates to the dramatic side of the waiting room. But sitting there with my relations and other people who actually had something to worry about. I mean, yes the person I was waiting for was in the operation theatre… but it wasn’t his first…
Cancer is kinda hard to get rid of once you get it.
So I knew I didn’t have that much to worry about. I didn’t worry but those close to him did… but that is only natural…