bahasa malaysia

my BM exam sucks!!!
who the hell cares about proper BM anymore???
i'm pretty happy with english!!!
at least the sentences are shorter and 1 word can mean 10 things and A can be B.
BM on the other hand uses one word for one meaning!
makes the bloody sentence longer than it should. np wonder in malaysia A is A and B is B
most people here follow rules without thinking or knowing why and they never challenge rules even when it is unfair to them because they think they cant do anything!!!
sorry, i'm stressed due to exam... and friend troubles but i rather not say anything about that cuz someone might start a rumour that i backstabbed my friend!
i am no stranger to rumours, some form 1 idiot started a rumour that my dad is not dead but instead he divorced my mum and i did not say anything cuz i'm ashamed...
first of all if my parents diverced why the hell would i lie and say my dad is dead?
he is still my dad and the divorce is my parents buisness not mine!
and secondly my dad IS dead, since i was 5..or was it 6?
why should i keep crying? just because 1 life is gone, that doesn't mean all lives should stoped being lived!!!!
yes my mum handled the death well and she is obviously single, but she has this strong indipendant streak that is usually found in divorcees, that just means my mum is strong!
and i handled it well because when my dad was alive, i hardly ever saw him, i lived with my grandparents cuz my mum and dad were studiying medicine, still i saw my mum more than my dad because he was a mama's boy and did not like to be away from his mum.
we were happy, and we still are, its just that my dad's not here.
all those comenters, dont say "i'm so sorry" because honestly, i dont feel sadness anymore.

old memories

its kinnda weird when you read your diary again 2 years after writing it... you realise that things seem stupid and other things funny.
so i read my diary from 2006 again and laughed at some parts and frowned at some parts realising things that you never realised before... puzzles that you hated to answer, words that should have been said and situations long forgoten (and this was only two years ago!)

one particular occurance that is extremely funny and sad at the same time. i dunno if you'll get the sad part but the funny part is definately there.
i have this friend...long time friend who is probably gonna read this article without commenting.
so anyway, this friend was my boyfriend two years ago (now ex). and i had this cool teacher when i was in primary...i'll call her MJ

i was in the school chess team then and we just won the second place in zon keramat (quite a big deal) so MJ decided to treat us at McD's and while waiting for the food my teacher scrolled my phone with my permision. so she went over my contacts and found my friends name... erm i'll call him capoeira, MJ found Capoeira's phone number and asked me who he is... i said he was a friend.... (i was not gonna tell MJ the truth!!!)
but my friends told her otherwise... i kept insisting we were friends, so to check she sent a txt msg to him it said

ini BF myra, kenape u ade nombor dea?

which basicly means

this is myra's BF, why does she have your number

she actually sent it, i saw it with my eyes!

she sent that to my boyfriend at the time!!!!

he got angry at me, like he should (not that i admited it at the time) he said that he only gave me the number cuz he trusted me. as for the BF thing, i think he was mad...
ok he was but not really
i guess he was more mad that i gave my phone to MJ
teehee, if you're wondering if he replyed the msg, he did.
he said we were just friends... which pissed me off.
a lot. he does not know that either... now he does.

the loner,a fictional story based on my elders

there was once 3 sisterswho lived together yet apart. these girls prove that even if you all have spots it dosent mean you're alike. the eldest was...is a loner.she's so caught up in her own buisness that the hardly cared for mindless gossip except when it concerned her. she isn't selfish yet she loves being right.

the middle sister was an absolute CONTROL FREAK. she wants all to be to her liking and if it ain't she makes them do what she wants...or tries to.suprisingly she's married as her older sis is. her husband loves her to pieces and i think that she is very lucky...he cooks to!

anyway, the youngest sister is truly an oddity.she isn't married. she still lives with her parents and most of the time they are fighting...especialy her and her mother. she totally lacks the confidence that her sisters have. i dont blame her, at school she was always compared to her sisters and she never came close. you see she was stuborn as hell and the more you press her the more she resisted. so the more the teachers pushed,the more she resisted. until now, she still hasen't gained the confidence that she so lacked. no wonder, she still lives with her mother...i'm not saying thats a bad thing, but living with her mom she is still unable to break out of her high school shell... when asked,she says that she is looking for an apartment..i say hury the hell up!

her mother has given up on her but she still stabs poison darts without meaning to. i don't blame the mother for wanting the best fr her child, but she has to learn to love the way her child the way she is and stop trying to change her.in a way both the mom and the child are a fault in this...and they never talked about it to each other... thats a major problem.

the youngest cared to much about what people thought of her, that is what's preventing her from being her own person. people are all diffrent and have diffrent oppinions...if you try to hard to please all of them sooner than later you'll die... and maybe when you're on the journey up there you might finaly realise that the only oppinions that mattered are your own.

i grew up with the fear of becoming like this sister, but i realised that she is perfect the way she is and that i'll never be like her because know her mistakes that she told me herself and i realised that she didn't want me to be like her either. i know i wont but i will always have a part of her in me because the fear i felt was there because i recognised her in me... i am me yet i have a part of her in me to...maybe that's the reason i'm me and not her...

yeah yeah i know that's confusing.that is why god invented our brains...so that we use them... suprise! suprise!