computer with a side of fries

guess what?? during me and my mum's movie mania,our computer got fried. it was raining bolts and lightning, seeing as mu mum is a facebook junkie,she left the computer with the broadband line in, ready for a speedy call to facebook (the poor fellow must be exausted!)
so lightning struck and our house blacked out, not without a loud popping sound signaling the end of my computer's life. what is so sad is that i forgot to back-up the new pics in my computer. there were pic of me and my friends at school,me and my old friends at the carnival,my 14th b'day photos and my uncle jack's wedding photos. that is the worse lot. but there is still hope of restoring the data if the fry was not serious, but we'll only find out when we take it for repair (god knows how long THAT will take), so i now have no alternative but to ask a friend to print out some pics for me (in colour). i'm sure you all are wondering howw the hell i'm writing this, well, the clinic my mum works at suplies doctors to the bank negara clinic,since i'm form 2 and in the afternoon session,i have to follow my mum to bank negara everyday and i get excess to the library and to its computers and printers...i'm not supposed to since my mum does not really work here... in a sense that my mum does not actually get paid by the same people the employees at bank negara do. so technicaly i have no right, but the staff dont complain since i'm here everyday and practicaly no one really uses these computers cuz they have their own laptops. which really pisses me off (the part about them having lap tops and that mine is friend due to my mum's carelessness and mine for not saving the pics) one more thing is cuz the printer here does not have coloured ink and i need coloured pics for my history folder/project its 30% of my end of the the year exam marks. and i need to get an 'A' cuz i had a deal with my mum (if i get 'A's for math,science,english and sejarah,she'll buy me a new set of earphones for my i-pod)
and the fact that i wanna prove that i am interested in our country's history.
it is now fasting month and there wont be any PJK (or PE) for the muslims (which is fair) but the non-muslim'll have to skip PJK to and then we'll all have to take notes. i just wish it is not so unfair for those non-malays who dont fast and enjoy PJK. but then again it wont be fair to the malays who fast and love PJK to sit inside taking notes while the rest of the class have fun outside, so i guess its better that way, yet it still sucks. the extra-curricular activities have also been halted so that the koko marks (curricular marks) wont be even. living in a multi racial community rocks, but it can suck at times to... for example,now during the fasting month.
gotta go!
myrra shaima

paper chain explosion!

yesterday, all of the members of my class did not sit the whole day.
why?
because there is a competition for best decorated class this Merdeka!
we were so busy that we did not notice how our class actually looked! we were runnibg around, climbing on chairs,tables,tables on top of tables to get the banner,cards and flags in place.
there were glue guns, there were colages and ballons that we took out later. and when we were done, we had a colage of our twin towers with 3D bridge railings (made with straw wrapped in purple paper) and out linned with string with people of all races in the bridge, a banner at the back of the class,5 cards hanging from the ceiling,our malaysian flag hanging from the side of our class (on both sides exactly the same level and i should know) our windows are old fasioned and wide paned with pink cutains and we had paper chains draping from the railings and paper lanterns hanging from the doors, we made life sized people drawings on colourful paper (we connected many coloured paper together) we made three of those in three different races, indian,malay and chinese (these are the tree main races that make up our country) we had signs made that says "merdeka!" each letter on a different coloured paper which we atteched together and taped to the windows so it can be seen from outside and inside, the same thing was done to the whiteboard only at the sides.
basicly our class looked fantastic... but so do the other classes. so for the competition i think it will be very hard to win and we would be lucky if we do, but it was fun and i never saw my class THIS co-operative.
then this friday we have this thing where we dress up in our national traditional wear, baju kurung,sari,punjabi suit,cheong sam and many more.
the funny thing is, we are gonna play games in these outfits, traditional games. we gotta jump,run and dance in traditional attire... i just hope no one gets hurt.

why do i have to have a title?

hey, to my readers out there... i think there are five. but only three actually leave comments, the other two just tell me in person. HEY! i loved that new article on your blog!!!!
i'll look at her and ask. "then why the hell didn't you leave a comment?"
and they'll say things like "my computer went nuts and i could not leave a comment" or "malas lah!" or "i dunno" or "why should i?" or "tah"
never mind about the lack of readers, i'm gonna concentrate on the ones i have.
hey!!! you might have noticed that i've just changed my blog layout. you like?
i got it off pimp my profile under...
i dont remember.the small pics and extras have also dissappeared as is what apparently happens when you change layouts...i think that's whack.
so, today Datuk Sheikh Mussazafa came to our school. for those who know him you might squeal and jump up and down... if you dont know him, just google his picture under sheikh mussafa and you will see why the girls scream for him....
i dont. he came to our school to give a speech about things in space...
he asked us if we had any questions and they did (keep in minds i said THEY) but only some were actually about space. one girl asked him when he was getting married.
another asked how he pooped (well at least that has something to do with space)
regardless to say, the girls were more interested in his ass than what he talked about. and me, i was just there for the show. it was kind of funny seeing the girl who asked him when he was getting married shiver and stutter in public... she was hyperventilating...
i was amused by how the girls were acting around him... suddenly it was all eye lashes and flirtatious smiles. not all, but about 99%
i have to admit he is cute, but still, dont those girls know he is probably used to all that attention? why waste their time?
anyway, i gotta go, my mum's calling for dinner, the laptop (if facebooking were a sport, my mum'll have 6pax) and my laptop's bat is really low... gotta go

city life in KL

hare in KL we love to sing patriotic songs, we love to give way and open the doors for others, we love to say please and thank you, and i will like to inform you that in reality... its nothing close to this Merdeka day ad. on TV.
In reality we are the third rudest city in the world, according to the reader's digest poll in 2006 (i think it was 2 years ago)
and New York scored 1st most polite city in the world.
but despite the fact that NYC is courteous and we are not, we do share one dilema.... public transportations...both of ours only have our train stations (subway/LRT for NYC and KL) within our city and they are both very dirty. but the thing that I'm not sure we both do the same is what we do when waiting for our stop on the train, especially if its a long stop.
,some people might read,pick their noses,kiss their spouses and listen to their i-pods and mp3s...
others scout around for an ass to tap or a pocket to pick....
and the rest... I don't know. Maybe they talk their friends and text and talk and stare..... but all these past times are only about 20% of what people do in public transportation. 80% of people in KL actually spend their time in the LRT trying not to get squashed to death.
yup! that is right!

we do not breath. well, not fresh air at least.

one of the reasons why this is so (not including the fact that our transportation system,unlike NYC's, sucks and also the fact that the oil prices hike up.who says the kids dont feel the push?) due to the fact in the caption, most people use the LRT, and in this city when they see a full train, they will still squash their fat arses in while pushing and swearing under their breath. most of the culprits are old ladies.
i really don't understand that(the ass in a sardine can thing),i personally do not shove my ass where it does not fit (including a pair jeans a size to small) because just like the jeans, if i shove my ass into a packed LRT, you are shoving your ass into someone else's face, you wont be able to move nor breath and as a bonus! other people wont be able to breath either. that is why i do not understand it when someone chooses to torture his/herself(and others). Don't they LIKE to breath?
I do. to be fair,if you are late it is okay (even if in Malaysia you normally turn up at a meeting 30 minutes late to actually be on time) what about the old ladies at the pasar who shove their butts in the train? i doubt they have anywhere important to go (especially those who shoves their friend's asses in with them to talk loudly in the train)
when you live in KL or work there and do not take the public transports you will find yourself swearing on the road when you drive home (now that the traffic had lessened due to oil prices) it is not so bad... but you cant escape it. when i ride with my mum in the car my past time is to read and try to ignore my mum's rigorous swearing in 2 languages as well as the swearwords i thought her in German. if I'm not doing that I'll be listening to my i-pod while catching site of a maxis (our local cellular communications company... one of the four) service van speeding and driving like a maniac and thinking "now THATS speed coverage" or I'm looking at the scenery of industrial and business buildings and then have that cut of by a driver on the left lane picking his nose.

that's life huh?

lately

i'm on school break and discoved the art of shaping wire... really!!!
i can make basic stuff with wire.
so far i can only make letters and a few notes, but i'm getting better.
i've been reading the age of white trilogy by trudi canavan... well the first book but its great. i still have yet to buy braking dawn.
havent heard from him but i guess that is to be expected... truly, i'm sorta glad.... in other ways i might not be. never mind.
i goota go, i'm going to my grandparents house where there is no intenet... but i do have a new book and history project i've gotta do on the school's history which is facinating!
who knew my school was this interesting?
anyway, ciau.

stupid friends (continued)

well, after all the drama and anger, i finaly moved to the 2nd phrase which was sadness. i still didnt cry but i was sad... which was weird since there is no logical reason that i should be, yet i was. many thoughts went through my head, leaving me more helpless then the last, does it he even care, does he?

then

if he doesnt....

if he does then why did he act the way he did?

i never ment through the "what if he doesnt?"

i realize that 20 years from now i will look back and laugh... or rather me, i'll be ambarassed by my part in it.

my mum to has lost a friend, or one she thought was one so she knew what i was going through, which was a relief, she told me what oscar wilde said, he said "friendship is more tragic then love, simply because it lasts longer" or something like that.

my 2 bestfriends are having a fight to, about not being best friends anymore. sound familiar?

only in their case its not to be bestfriends, in mine, its never to be friends anymore.

ash reckons i liked him more then a friend, i said OF COURSE. but i chose not to act that way, partly because i know he does not like me more than that at the time (i dought he likes me at all now, i think he might hate me) yet the thought was never acted on.... after the 2nd break-up.

looking back i know i'm too young and still am... even if today is my birthday.

i'm fourteen today! not that he remembered nor ever did but now i know its just because he is just a guy,

i no longer feel useless nor depressed, in places of those emotions lies exceptance (that does NOT mean i forgive him for that way he abandoned me that day and how indiferent he reacted to when i told him we were no longer bestfriends...now i wonder if i was even his best friend. he was mine. if not best, definately good friend. maybe he still is, that is probably why i still can forgive him... i know it sounds cheesy but it really is what i think... and unlike a burger, i cant control all the cheese that comes into my brain (that sounded weird)

i want to say tanx to ash for picking up all my distressed phone call.... and aqil did remember my b'day... aqil if you are reading this, you are not forgiven... until you figure out what exactly you have to do and how.
then i might forgive you.
if you think i'm going to give in as easily as before, then you are wrong.

stupid friends

once upon a time there were 2 kids on a bus, 1 was a girl, the other a boy. they were talking about harry potter whe they first became friends, that friendship lasted till the girl was 1 week shy of 14 and the boy was 1 month shy of 15.
i said until because as of 10-20 mins ago, that friendship ended. i'm gonna tell you why.
in my last 2 posts i wrote about a carnival and how i felt leading up to it.
the truth is that i was terrified. i did not know if every thing would work out or if it would blow.
it blew. i ended my friendship with someone that i thought was my friend. the ironic thing is that he thinks that it started only today... he's wrong. it started at the start of our friendship.
as all beginnings start, but the start of the friendship that went bad was the moment he became my boyfriend... i asked him and he said yes, now i wonder if i never asked if we would even have become a couple. yet sadly after we did i discovered that i had to change schools, and we only had a relationship (if you would call it that) through the phone. looking back, i feel stupid at my naivety. how could it work out?
and the second is that i was to young. what was i thinking?
i broke up with him
then a year later i asked to couple again.... now i felt stupid (was i that desprate?)
then he broke with me... it hit me then. that he never felt THAT way about me... and i was too young only 13 then...how stupid.
so i thought if not in that way maybe we could be just friends.
i was also pissed by the way he did it... but never mind about that.
i always found it hard to talk to him...in the last few years
so today at the carnival, i felt totally left out. i wondered if i should have gone in the first place.
aqil's (capoeira's) b'day is next month, but i thought since today is the only day i could see him in person, i could give him the gift.
so this morning when i arrived i called aqil like he told me to. then he met me at the entrance. he took me to the 2nd floor to meet his friends, i met 2. i remembered sofia... sofia is nice.
so i told him i wanted to go down to get coupons.
i did and came back up.. then went back down cuz my ex art teacher is now teaching in the school i'm supposed to go to ... in a way an ex- school by way of supposed-to-go.
after that i looked up and he was gone. so i had to look for someone else to hang out with that i could stand. suraya had a shift at her school stall and most of the guys are egnoring me. eg. armand,adam naim (who used to be my best friend, but i guess he doesnt want to talk to me)
so i went with atiqah for a while, then on our way up to the haunted house i saw a kid who looked just like aqil's lil bro, so i gave the present to him and askerd him to give it to his bro cuz i kinnda knew i wont see much of him (despite him telling me he was going to intro me to some of his friends)
so i did bump into him some... hour later(or that was how it felt like)
i told him to look for his bro... he said his bro was at home, he showed me a pic and called aqid (his lil bro) true enpugh he was at home.... shit!!!! that was bad!
so i went in earch of the present and on the way i lost atiqah...
great so at this point i lost my former best friend's b'day present, my hang out friend and my former best friend.
so i had to search for someone else to hang out with.
endded up with suraya for a while, then her family came i scooted (no point in intruding their family together time)
by 1 i was alone, angry and depressed, so i called ash (ashileen, its a she) and told her everything, the only thing i could think of is my then friend abandoned me after saying that he wont!!! i do not expect aqil to spend 24/7 with me... that is just selfish... but to abandon me like that is just.... crude!!!! and SELFISH and THOUGHTLESS and... and IRISPONSABLE and BASTARDISH!!! i was crying into the phone with ash!!! you have no idea how alone i felt!!!!
how abandoned...how WORTHLESS, and this is not the first time!!!
even before i thought how hard it was to communicate with aqil... even after years of knowing each other!!! i realized that neighther of us know each other or have anything in common.
i have been contemplating endding the friendship a week before the carnival, but my friends talked me out of it... told me to give it another chance... i am going to yell at them when i get back to school!!!!!
and to make it worse, while i was going over to the dunk tank to dump aqil as a friend i met with the boy whom i gave the present to, i told him to take me to it and he did, i appologized and called aqil for his whereabouts... at the dunk tank i gave him the present and told him i needed to talk to him, i took a private spot and told him

m: this is the last present i'm going to give you and the last time you'll hear from me...we are no longer friends
a:ok (shruging his shoulders looking indiferent)
A:may i know why (still looking indiferent)
M:because you left me going like a school, like an idiot.....blah blah blah (i dont remember this part)
A:yeah kinnda
M:so i'm not your friend anymore
A: ok( and he went off)

i walked away thinking of wat just hapened. i turned back and called him

M: you're a prick
A: yeah okay (indiferently)

right.....i went home in a storm of anger thinking how stupid i was to this heartless asshole, while calling ash and saying the "F" word profusely as well as other exploitives.
people were starring. i couldn't give a damn.
i did cry, but they were tears of anger... i seldom cry because i'm sad. its normaly cuz i'm either really anoyed or really angry.
after the carnival i got a txt..
it was the bastard saying sorry and that he understood if i did not want to communicate further.
i asked him what exactly did he understand
he said that i was angy he abandoned me when i was running around school looking looking for his present...
i told him he did not understand anything
he said enlighten me
i said GO TO HELL
i told him that sorry meant shit in black and white.

while i was looking for the present!!!
HE DID NOT EVEN REALIZE HE ABANDONED ME WAY WAY WAY BEFORE THAT!!!!!
what i'm realy terrificly angry at is the way he responded to me when i endded the friendship.... like i meant nothing to him... not even a cent... not even less than that.
that is one thing that i will never TRUELY forgive in a long long LONG time!!!!
let me tell you what i felt... i felt worthless,stupid,betrayed,abandoned,regretful that i wasted 6 years on him and most of all, i felt ANGRY.
SO AQIL, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU A BASTARD,
I SHOULD HAVE CALLED YOU A F****ING @$$HOLE!