The rabbit hole

I hate it when I say hello
And he smiles
I hate it when he makes me
Feel happy
I hate yo so much
But at the same time
I yearn for your touch

Oh NO! not again
I'm falling, I'll hurt myself
Again
I don't want to pick up the pieces
Every piece I pick up
The wall comes back stronger
The more i break
The less time it takes to fix
I don't wanna care less
But i don't wanna be in distress

Why cant you just
STAY the way you are?
Why can it just work out
And not end in a war?
Why cant i just fall and have you catch me?
Why cant i just fall and be happy?
But no
When i fall i hit the sidewalk
I'll be torn, i don't wanna talk

Too many questions and no answers
I'm tired of asking
You're just wasting my time
You play around
You'll never be mine
And I'm tired of trying
I'm tired of searching
"I don't want this" cried my mind
But my hear isn't so kind

The rabbit hole is deep
The rabbit hole is steep
So easy to fall in
So hard to get out
Nobody knows how deep it goes
All you know is that

Your heart leads you there
You will start to care
You'll remember the smell of their hair
And when they're gone
You'll be the one in the nightmare
You'll be the one with the blank stare