The rabbit hole

I hate it when I say hello
And he smiles
I hate it when he makes me
Feel happy
I hate yo so much
But at the same time
I yearn for your touch

Oh NO! not again
I'm falling, I'll hurt myself
Again
I don't want to pick up the pieces
Every piece I pick up
The wall comes back stronger
The more i break
The less time it takes to fix
I don't wanna care less
But i don't wanna be in distress

Why cant you just
STAY the way you are?
Why can it just work out
And not end in a war?
Why cant i just fall and have you catch me?
Why cant i just fall and be happy?
But no
When i fall i hit the sidewalk
I'll be torn, i don't wanna talk

Too many questions and no answers
I'm tired of asking
You're just wasting my time
You play around
You'll never be mine
And I'm tired of trying
I'm tired of searching
"I don't want this" cried my mind
But my hear isn't so kind

The rabbit hole is deep
The rabbit hole is steep
So easy to fall in
So hard to get out
Nobody knows how deep it goes
All you know is that

Your heart leads you there
You will start to care
You'll remember the smell of their hair
And when they're gone
You'll be the one in the nightmare
You'll be the one with the blank stare

from another perspective

there are two parts of this poem, form the perspective of two people.part one is from a teenage boy and part two is from a teenage girl. generally the theme is fucked up families.enjoy :) drop comments if you have any constructive criticism to drop, or just comment for the heck of it, i dont mind.

Part 1

Life everyday...living in fear
I try to run away
But somehow i end up back here
Who can i turn to?
Who can i talk to?
I try not to cry
I'm afraid to.

My father fucked up his life
By having me
HE tells me everyday of this history
His pride is so big...he hates my mother
He hates that i remind him of his time with her

As she looks at me, she remembers him
As he looks at me, he remembers her
So much of hate in one family
The evidence scars my body

Part 2

I never knew him that well
Maybe once in a while i see him
Thats all
When he died, I felt cold
I didn't care
But when they pulled the glass out
All i could do was stare
I tried to cry and some tears came out
But worse was my mother,for once she cried aloud

The money was important
More important than me
They acted all kind
They made us blind
But when he went
It was plain to see
The family was rich with hypocracy

I moved away, I stayed clear
I listened to the phone calls
They'll ask "why aren't you here?"
To which I nod and pretend
The words I want to say
Will only offend